Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
