i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
