Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
