fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
