Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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