I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
