Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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