she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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