Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
