Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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