best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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