yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
love makes seman taste better
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
