We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
