what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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