names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
