I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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