Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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