wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
