Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
