Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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