yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
