ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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