Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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