You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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