He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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