Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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