if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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