evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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