How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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