If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
