my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize