dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
