Sponge bath it is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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