Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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