she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
