Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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