the day after is always just damage control
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
