so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
