dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
