i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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