i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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