Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
