i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
