I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
