You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
