I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
