I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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