I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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