I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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