I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
