I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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