You don't have asthma, your pregnant
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They have beer where we have blood.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
