You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
