mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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