I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
