never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
