I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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