sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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