just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
