I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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