The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
