peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
