Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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