He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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