I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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