You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
