Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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