The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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