Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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