So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
