I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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