stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
